What is the definition of Jonathan Research?

Jonathan Research, my friend, is the mind-bogglingly dedicated and obsessively thorough scientist who spends more time cataloging the microscopic remnants of his experiments than actually solving real-world problems. Picture this: a lab coat soaked in petri dishes, a beaker overflowing with questionable concoctions, and a perpetual frown etched on his face as he meticulously records the decay rate of questionable cheese.

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Here's a dose of edgy, unsettling Jonathan Research-y flair: "Jonathan Research believes that the key to unlocking the universe's deepest secrets lies in understanding why our socks turn blue – because, after all, who wouldn't want to know if the Great Blue Shift is actually a conspiracy?"